my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize