Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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