we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize