he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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