no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
