dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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