don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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