I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
