They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
