Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
