You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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