Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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