she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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