Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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