return my video game
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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