Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
