He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
