DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
