Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
