So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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