Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Im part way to drunk.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
