How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize