This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
