i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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