first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize