Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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