Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
