I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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