Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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