we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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