well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I touched a dick in church today
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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