Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
