yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
