i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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