I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
