i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
