What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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