You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
