Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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