i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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