I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
