...so i touched it.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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