Yo dont text me then not text me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
