Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
