It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
