well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
