I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
