We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
