Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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