Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
