At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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