She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
