i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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