That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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