Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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