Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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