If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
