How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
