OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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